Happy Mother's Day

May, 13, 2012
Dear Grandma,
Happy Mother's Day!  We wish you could have been here with us to celebrate--we miss you so much.  Hard to believe that life continues to go on without you.  A lot has happened since you've been gone.  We miss having you here to share every little thing with us.  The Amazing Race just ended.  We missed snuggling up on your couch to watch it every Sunday.  Our favorite team didn't win--maybe next time.  Jaxon, Justus and mommy are just about done with the school year.  Jace is three years old and busier and crazier than ever.  Jett is 8 1/2 months old.  Everyone is in love with her chubby cheeks, legs and beautiful blue eyes.  She sure is missing out on one remarkable wardrobe--@#&* cancer!  We spoiled mommy for Mother's Day.  We gave her way too much!  She would have given anything she had to have just one more day with you--if not a day, just one hour.  We are trying to adjust to a new normal--slowly getting back into a new routine knowing that our lives will never be the same again--there will always be a void.  We hope you liked our balloons.
Miss you, Love you!
Forever and Always,
Jaxon, Justus, Jace and Jett

December 2011

Dear Grandma,
Wow!  December came and went even without you here.  To sum it up, "it was the best of times and it was the worst of times."  Bo and Melissa's wedding was beautiful--bittersweet to say the least.  Grandpa made it through.  He sure did miss you not only celebrating with Bo and Melissa, but celebrating your anniversary as well.  Mom told us that if we choose to get married in the winter months, she isn't coming--it was way too cold!  We think that she is serious:)

It was hard celebrating Christmas without you!  You made the holidays perfect.  There will always be a void that will never be filled.  Mom is trying her best, but it sure isn't the same.  Santa gave us a fun surprise--a trip to Disneyland.  We left Christmas morning along with aunt Melanie.  Brady surprised us too.  He came to Disneyland with us for a few days.  We got to stay for 5 magical days at the happiest place on earth.  We sure do wish you could have come with us.  We missed you.

The days just keep on coming.  Day by day is all we can do.  I think that we are all still in shock.  We miss you every second of every day.  It is hard to see everyone else's lives go on like normal when ours will never be the same.

We love you!
 "Forever and Always"

Jaxon, Justus, Jace, Jett

Wedding Shower

Dear Grandma,
It has been a busy week.  Mom is slowly getting back into the routine of juggling everything, i.e. us, school, dance, cheer, etc.  We are trying to adapt to a new normal.  Mom sure does miss calling you everyday to tell you how the day has gone, the good, the bad, every small little detail be it funny or frustrating.  Hard to believe that it is December.  The holidays are hard, because YOU were the holidays.  We miss your holiday outfits, and infectious excitement.  We miss you every second of every day!

Jett is officially three months old!  Can you believe it.  She has her "kissy cheeks" and "roley poley pinchy legs".  Everyone is in love with her.  We wish your were here to enjoy her.  You would love her "cheeks and chub".   Not having you here for us is hard for mom.

On Saturday Shelley, Sheri, and Jackie hosted the wedding shower for Bo and Melissa that you helped plan.  It was amazing.  It was wonderful down to every last detail.  It was nice to visit with good friends and family.  Your presence would have made the day perfect.  While mom was getting ready, she was using your "famous Velcro curlers" in her hair.  Justus informed her that they were yours.  She said she didn't think you needed them for a while.  He said that you would want them back when you come back down.  So mom agreed to take care of them for you.  Everyone tells us that you are here with us, but lets be honest, it isn't the same.  We would give anything to have you back here with us.  To hear your voice and see your smile again.  So while you may be with us, it is so hard not to physically see and feel you near.  We sure do miss you!

We love you!
Forever and Always,
Jaxon, Justus, Jace and Jett

P.S. Tara picked up our suits for us that you helped pick out.  They look great.  Perfect for three handsome boys!

Mission Complete

Monday, November 28
Dear Grandma,
Today we delivered the blankets to the cancer center.  Our goal was to collect 200 blankets for the patients currently receiving chemo in the valley.  We are happy to report that we surpassed our goal and collected 243.  A big thanks to everyone that donated blankets to the cause.  Grandpa was really excited with the outpouring of love and support.   The "extra" blankets will be given to patients receiving radiation therapy.  Sadly enough they are always getting new patients, so there is a need for blankets.  We attached a poem written by mom to each blanket.  Last night, with the generous help of the Egbert family (thank you!), we were able to get all of the blankets ready.  It was a good way to keep your memory alive.Yesterday marked the one month mark of your passing.  It is amazing how 1 month can feel like 1000 years.  We sure do miss you!  We took a few carloads of blankets to the Cancer Center.  Other families helped us deliver the blankets--Godderidges, Reeses, Egberts.  The staff was so appreciative to receive all of the blankets. They are excited to hand them out to the patients during the month of December.  They said that grandpa had come in earlier on his way to work.  He said it was harder than he thought it would be to deliver them--he got a little choked up.  When he has his sunglasses on, we know he is having "a moment".  We all have them.  They come at all times of the day over the "smallest" of things.  We miss you more than words can say!  Here is the  poem we put on each blanket:
"May this blanket bring you comfort, and courage as you fight.
Hope to fill your days and peace to fill your nights.
Please know that you are thought of as you battle day by day.
To us you are a Hero, and in our hearts you'll stay!"

We love you!
Forever and Always,
Jaxon, Justus, Jace, Jett

Thanksgiving

Thursday, November 24
Dear Grandma,
We sure did miss you at the Thanksgiving table.  You made holidays exactly what they should be, a celebration of love, life, family and tradition.  To carry on your traditions, Aunt Christy asked mom to bring some fun decoration treats like you used to.  Needless to say hers are not half as good as yours, but we made it work.  We made turkey suckers out of chocolate, candy acorns and Teepees.  They turned out pretty good.  We know that you would have given them that extra special something to make them perfect.  We celebrated at Brad and Christy's.  We kept waiting for you to come downstairs or turn the corner to enjoy the festivities, but were reminded that can't happen.  Still hard to understand.  We did have the ping pong tournament.  Bo and Brady were sorry they missed it.  Pretty good competition this year.  Jaxon was able to play.  He did pretty good.  In the end, Nate won--I think we were all a little surprised :) but he deserved it.  Grandpa lost to Brad--pretty hard to take.  All in all it was a fun day to celebrate how blessed we are.  We are trying to concentrate on how lucky we are to have had you in our lives.  It sure doesn't dull the pain.  When you are blessed with someone so amazing it is hard when they are no longer around.  We miss you so much!
We hope you got our Thanksgiving balloons--no turkey attached this year, maybe next time :)
We love you!
Forever and Always,
Jaxon, Justus, Jace, Jett

Day by Day

Sunday, November 20
Dear Grandma,
Crazy how the days keep on coming. It is hard waking up every morning knowing you won't be here. Miss you so bad. We're starting to get back into a somewhat normal routine-new normal we guess. Grandpa is back at work, mom goes back to school on Tuesday, Aggie games with daddy and grandpa, birthday parties, pajama parties, etc. Jaxon, Justus, mom and dad ran in the Turkey Trot on Saturday-well dad and Jaxon ran, mom and Justus walked, at least they finished:). It is a white winter wonderland here. Grandpa shovels his walk along with all the neighbors-as usual, now he also goes to the cemetery to clear a path for you-now that is true love! We are all hanging in. Day by day. We know everyone means well, but we're trying to figure out why the "natural" question people ask is, "How are you?", "How is your dad/grandpa?". Are there really answers to this question?
Love you! Miss you more and more each day.

*the blanket project is going well. We have 140. We hope to have about 60 more by this Friday so we can deliver them before December to the cancer center. Thanks to all those that have participated.
We Love You!
Forever and Always,
Jaxon, Justus, Jace, Jett

Baptism and Blessing

Saturday, November 5
Dear Grandma,
Today was a BIG day.  We sure did miss you.  Hard to believe that "Jaxie" is 8 and that Jett is here, healthy, and received her baby blessing.  We had a lot of support--many family and friends were able to attend.  It is hard when the one person we wanted there couldn't be.  We know you are with us, but in reality it's not the same.  We wish you could have held Jett in her beautiful white dress and Ooo'ed and Aww'ed like everyone else did.  Mom needed help deciding if Jett should wear her hat (bonnet) or not--we decided yes.  We wish you could have given "Jaxie" a big hug on his big day and shared in his excitement.  He looked very handsome.

Mom and dad surprised everyone during Jett's blessing.  She was given the middle name Kandace--Jett Kandace Tueller.  She will probably always have to spell it correctly for everyone, but it is worth it:) 

We hope you got our balloons!  We sure do miss you!

We Love You!
Forever and Always,
Jaxie, Justus, Jace, Jett